I was 19 when a friend said to me, “Latonya, I don’t want to ever see you going out to eat alone.” She made this comment while she, her young daughter, and I were dining across from a woman who was eating alone. I heard my friend, but at the time, I didn’t think much about the comment because I knew she thought I would be alone forever since I didn’t date much and mostly hung out with my friends. But, not to long after, I found myself married and with children of my own so she no longer had to worry about me eating alone due to not having a family.

I’ve thought back on the comment many times and the past few years, and I have come to conclusion, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating out alone. “ I dine alone often despite the despite the advice I was by my friend all those years ago, and it’s a choice I am encouraging moms to make several times in their motherhood journey.

Three Reasons I Encourage Moms to Dine Solo

1. You can order what really want without calculating your bill before ordering.

   I don't know about you, but when our family goes out to eat I find myself ordering based on what I think the other members of my family will order. Unless it's a special occasion, I have a specific budget for eating out. In order for us to stay in or under budget, I order based on the budget versus what I might really want.

   When I go on my solo dates, I don't order solely based on my budget. Since I'm by myself, I know my check will not exceed a certain amount no matter what I order. This is definitely a perk to eating alone for me.

2. It provides time to eat without interruption or expecations.

   When my girls and the dog were younger, my meal time would be disturbed for potty breaks and other reasons I can't recall at the moment. Now my girls and the dog are older, I don't have as many interruptions, but they do happen every now and again. Eating out alone allows me to enjoy my meal with almost certainty that no one or thing will need anything from me or expect anything from me. This might sound selfish, but it isn't.  No matter the job, work, occupation-- moments doing regular tasks away from the work provides the opportunity to regroup and recharge.  

3. It’s good to be able to sit with yourself and enjoy your own company.

   Do you enjoy your own company? I do. I intentionally go to lunch alone. I could easily invite a friend to join me, but I choose not to. Going alone allows me to enjoy my own presence. I believe we're programmed to not go out by ourselves because "that's boring" or not as exciting as it would be if others were there. We have become accustomed to consuming one another's thoughts and actions that we don't always have time to hear ourselves think. When I'm alone, I enjoy the quietness within or the thoughts that reveal themselves because I'm not engaged in other activities and conversations. I also enjoy being able to eat and move at my own pace. I can linger for however long I desire.

   Honestly, reason number three is my top reason for eating alone, but not just for the purpose of lingering. I know my daughters, husband, and friends will not always be available. I can't decide not to go somewhere or do something simply because I don't have anyone to do it with so I've chosen to be a friend to myself and enjoy moments in public alone.  

   So tell me, do you take time to yourself out for solo meals?